Hormone Hostage: A Man's Guide To PMS

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth to a woman and he takes his very life into his own hands.

This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other.

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

Fabulous! Truly funny!

I won't go into details...but if men had "that time of the month", they'd want to be pampered and eat chocolate too!

Actually from what I've seen, guys do have a time of the month. Not physically but I've noticed a slight change in their emotions.

Yes, I agree with that, Syn. They still don't know how much the icky physical aspect sucks for women though.

If men had 'true' periods they'd brag about the size of their tampons

From what I read somewhere a long time ago, it has been "proven" (now I didn't check the source, so don't go crazy about this) that men DO have a period in the month, same as women, but less intense. I mean, after all, we don't eject blood from our bodies.

I heard a theory from a friend of Hallie's. "Men are like Werewolves. There are moody the most during full moons" XD

It's actually true that men do have a time of the month. There are three cycles that your body goes through, physical, emotional, and I think intellectual. They each take different amounts of time to complete but I remember that physical is somewhere around 26ish, emotional is around 29 (looks familiar eh?), and intellectual is around 33. If you graph them from the day you're born they look like sin/cos curves and you can actually figure out when you're "supposed" to have a bad physical/emotional/intellectual day. I just can't, for the life of me, remember what they're called >_<

oh, my granddad used to have some sort of device (looked like a calculator) that kept track of those periods. never thought of it as related to menstruation, but yeah, that makes sense. i'll see if i can find that calculator thing and do more research

Boy Soprano wrote:oh, my granddad used to have some sort of device (looked like a calculator) that kept track of those periods. never thought of it as related to menstruation, but yeah, that makes sense. i'll see if i can find that calculator thing and do more research

It was like Skalmans (Professor Shellback) clock, except this told him when to duck flying pots and pans or go the pub.

Boy Soprano wrote:oh, my granddad used to have some sort of device (looked like a calculator) that kept track of those periods. never thought of it as related to menstruation, but yeah, that makes sense. i'll see if i can find that calculator thing and do more research

I am quite interested in knowing how it works.

Here's a little something my mom sent my husband. It's a wife's aggro radius.

http://www.ancientwarriors.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=68&t=13968&start=0&st=0&sk=t&sd=a&sid=c5776a45b78adcbeaa2df6215d598fa8

I am staying away from this post...

Nooooo! Read it!! It's hilarious!

Lulz at Laura's post >_<

Also, I figured out what the cycles are called. They are your biorhythms. Although it isn't exactly proven scientifically, I think it's true ^_^

Laura, i will not.

Then you will not be safe from woman aggro nor learn useful skills to deflect!

I think it's a pretty good post!

Some of the comparisons between RL and IG are really nice lol